I ca...

I can't control this I can't control this I can't control thisI can't control this I can't control this I can't control thisI can't control this I can't control this I can't control thisI can't control this I can't control this I can't control thisI can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this I can't control this!!And I blame it all on him. I only get sick when I see him in an unscheduled instance, such as the game. I don't know why, but I always get sick after an unexpected meeting, fight, anytime I see him. I can't control it! I don't know why I get so sick! I don't like being sick! I don't make myself sick! I'm not anorexic or anything! I force myself to eat, even when I'm not hungry! I can't loose weight, for if I do, I'll end up in the hospital, because I'm already underweight! I'm not forcing this on myself, and I don't know how to stop it! And it's obviously not one of those things that I can just make go away. Sure, I've been able to hold it back a little, but it just gets worse and worse until I make myself so sick that I can't move! I force myself to pretend I'm not sick, and force myself to pretend I'm not being bothered by him or my stomach, but both just fester and cause more damage than good in the end. I don't know how to make my stomach stay calm when I see him. Just like I have no clue how to force my heart not to beat a little faster, or a smile to come to my face when I'm not remembering that I'm not supposed to care about him anymore. I don't know how to do this. I'm trying to just forget and get over it and not let it bother me...But didn't someone say once that hiding things doesn't solve problems, that it just makes everything worse??I don't know how to correct this.