AUGH!!!!

you just don't know how horribly frustrating this is getting! It still doesn't seem real, you know? I really still can't believe that it's over, and it's annoying! I just keep thinking about him and me and kissing and...well, other stuff...I just keep wishing that I could still do that stuff...I miss that stuff...But now we're not together, so we can't do stuff anymore. No stuff, no kissing, no holding hands, no touching, flirting, hell, everyone's told me I shouldn't even be talking to him, but I can't bloody well help it, now can I?? I don't want to completely lose him! I don't want to lose him at all, and I can't help but still believe that there is some way, some little thing, that I can do to make him come back to me...A certain way that he wants me to be, something I can say, anything to keep him as mine! I mean, I really can't digest this information, because it just doesn't seem real!! It isn't real, it can't be, but I know it is! I HATE REALITY!!! I wish that I could just dream all the time about me n him...then I wouldn't have to face that we're not together anymore...that I can't kiss him, touch him, feel him....I need his touch...It makes me happy, the only thing that's ever made me happy is his touch, his kiss, his love...I miss him....